Author Topic: Ville Valo Arrested (Read 9482 times)

Vampyre_Heart · « **on:** February 10, 2006, 08:52:34 AM »

Apparently Ville Valo got arrested on Feb. 6th for threatening his neighbour! It found it on the Metalhammer website!

Sorry if this news has already been posted, but I couldn't find it anywhere

Thulsa Doom · « **Reply #1 on:** February 10, 2006, 10:09:43 AM »

Check the articles thread.

http://thesacrament.net/forum/index.php?topic=715.540

ForAllTid · « **Reply #2 on:** February 10, 2006, 10:36:22 PM »

muahuaha this makes me laugh

Alone I Break · « **Reply #3 on:** February 10, 2006, 10:54:05 PM »

*sniff sniff*

mmmm sounds like a publicity stunt to me.

wonder why sylvie isnt over here talk shit about ville.

sylvie · « **Reply #4 on:** February 11, 2006, 12:01:57 AM »

Quote from: Love You Like I Do on February 10, 2006, 10:54:05 PM

*sniff sniff*

mmmm sounds like a publicity stunt to me.

wonder why sylvie isnt over here talk shit about ville.

i was here two times, and nobody was saying. it's sad any way you look at it. ville is reverting back to a childhood he never had, his bam-esque behavior and saying he's "too stoned" to remember is juvenile, he looks desperate. ville was always self assured and refined. HIM is not selling like they used to in europe and not selling as expected in U.S., so the "raging" is no surprise. seppo is losing his touch at making these things look "unstaged," but ville has lost his touch. which is why we see the strain, regardless if this is real or not. you know what i'm going to say, not being allowed to be himself is what is killing him.

Alone I Break · « **Reply #5 on:** February 11, 2006, 01:42:09 AM »

and what is himself like?

Tauriainen · « **Reply #6 on:** February 11, 2006, 03:28:37 AM »

Quote from: sylvie on February 11, 2006, 12:01:57 AM

Quote from: Love You Like I Do on February 10, 2006, 10:54:05 PM
*sniff sniff*

mmmm sounds like a publicity stunt to me.

wonder why sylvie isnt over here talk shit about ville.

i was here two times, and nobody was saying. it's sad any way you look at it. ville is reverting back to a childhood he never had, his bam-esque behavior and saying he's "too stoned" to remember is juvenile, he looks desperate. ville was always self assured and refined. HIM is not selling like they used to in europe and not selling as expected in U.S., so the "raging" is no surprise. seppo is losing his touch at making these things look "unstaged," but ville has lost his touch. which is why we see the strain, regardless if this is real or not. you know what i'm going to say, not being allowed to be himself is what is killing him.

Should I call you Mother Love or Dr. Phil after this?
WTF..........
Wow.
I am confuzzled by theories of things that get thrown around since there are no facts to prove anything.

If you feel a strain on a person I hear a nice massage does better than a conversation.

P.S.
Why not close a Topic since the conversation already exist somewhere else.

(Mods)
?
*Coyote howls in the dark.

sylvie · « **Reply #7 on:** February 11, 2006, 11:26:02 AM »

perhaps, i should have said disturbed. ville appears disturbed. though i'm sure there's people that would say the drinking is a form of killing thyself.

Daedalus · « **Reply #8 on:** February 11, 2006, 01:54:55 PM »

Or ya know, we don't know all the facts and it could just be a small quarrel between neighbors, nothing more.

Jay · « **Reply #9 on:** February 11, 2006, 02:06:48 PM »

Oh, I think this has gone further than just a quarrel.

Here's the real deal:

Ville was staggering up the stairs and his neighbor called him a "drunken cunt." Ville said "Your mummy," grabbed a flower pot and threw it, signaling (in the style of MXC) "giti on." The two engage in fisticuffs, and Lord knows nobody wants to engage in such transactions.

Out of nowhere, Ville's brother Jesse (who's a kickboxer) drops from the rooftop, and (in the style of Chuck Norris) roundhouses the neighbor, knocking his left eyebrow off. Jesse then ninja-rolled his way out of danger and the cops arrived.

They see Ville towering over his neighbor, who's missing his left eyebrow, and they cuff our poor protagonist. He is hauled away to spend the night in the drunk tank where guys named Sven spend their days.

And don't ask for my sources...I can't reveal them

Tauriainen · « **Reply #10 on:** February 11, 2006, 03:02:37 PM »

Quote from: Jay on February 11, 2006, 02:06:48 PM

They see Ville towering over his neighbor, who's missing his left eyebrow.

And don't ask for my sources...I can't reveal them

So Ville went to prizon because he didnt do a good job on pluckin' the poor guys eye browl?
Man, Finnish people can be picky when they want to be than.

I was thinking that the neighbor was Bam.
He was trying to move in next to his House just so he can copy him even further.
To the point that Ville got so fed up and wanted to beat the living hell out of him because copy is one thing (as a friendly reminder) immitation is another (creepy thought to come across).

But since Jay has the Source straight out of the Whore's- Mouth.

Jay · « **Reply #11 on:** February 11, 2006, 03:25:31 PM »

I like this "Ville was raging" crap, being lost in translation is fun.

But really, that's why the neighbors are refusing to comment and have asked the police to keep quiet. The guy's missing his left eyebrow, and he got it spin-kicked right off in front of his old lady. That's embarassing. Oh, and did I mention that the neighbors were naked and covered in apple sauce? They were in the middle of "doing the grown-up" when Ville began his journey up the stairs.

From what I've been told, the couple has weird, kinky, sex that often times involves a small bear cub. After being home from tour, Ville just wants rest, not to hear the neighbors go on and on in the night. They've repeatedly asked Ville for discounts at his dad's sex shop, to which Ville has refused. He does not set the prices, and if you want the Anal Assault 3000, you're going to pay.

But see, I've revealed too much. The neighbor could have just kept his mouth shut and could have kept his left eyebrow too.

Daedalus · « **Reply #12 on:** February 11, 2006, 03:32:19 PM »

Jay, TMI!

Just because we all know about the kinky-lube related activities of the neighbors doesn't mean we have to discuss it in a public forum!
I'm just glad you didn't bring up thier obsession with ducks. That shit is weird.

Jay · « **Reply #13 on:** February 11, 2006, 03:59:54 PM »

Yeah, I will say the duck thing is a bit...off. How'd you find out about that? Maybe we have the same source. According to the Finnish Deep Throat, the police have been called out to the residence before. The neighbor is apparently some big fish in Helsinki...again, another reason why this is hush-hush.

I know that "simple" kid they had in their custody no longer resides in the home. The officer told my source that the kid's rectum was "damaged...just damaged."

ZomB · « **Reply #14 on:** February 11, 2006, 05:24:23 PM »

hahaha...wtf? you guys are crazy.

Jay · « **Reply #15 on:** February 11, 2006, 05:45:42 PM »

Us? US?? We're not the ones who are damaging the rectums (I speak for myself, I cannot speak for Daedalus) of simple children, ducks and bear cubs in a single afternoon!

ZomB · « **Reply #16 on:** February 11, 2006, 05:55:57 PM »

then im glad Ville kicked his ass...poor duckies.

Daedalus · « **Reply #17 on:** February 11, 2006, 06:36:09 PM »

Hey hey, I damage no such rectums!
But anyone who does that sort of thing to ducks, bears and children deserves to have Ville Valo and co. beat the piss out of them. With flower pots.

Daedalus · « **Reply #18 on:** February 11, 2006, 06:41:28 PM »

Ville has finally issued a comment regarding this incident.

"I did what I had to do. So many things were at stake here. So many [bum-holes]. We may have gone a bit overboard with the roundhouse kicks, but think of the duckies. We had to save the duckies."

Jay · « **Reply #19 on:** February 11, 2006, 09:46:24 PM »

I can't wait until there's a "Little Known Facts About Ville Valo" gag online, like the ones about Chuck Norris.

Fact #616: Ville Valo doesn't read books, he "rages" until they give him the information he wants.

Talullah · « **Reply #20 on:** February 12, 2006, 01:08:00 AM »

HA!! You guys have it all wrong... those duckies and bear cubs aren't so innocent...just ask the BUNNY!!

I wonder what this BUNNY knows about bum-holes

Daedalus · « **Reply #21 on:** February 12, 2006, 01:53:34 AM »

I really didn't wanna say this but...you know that joke, "The Aristocrats"? That's Ville's neighbors. I'll let you figure out how all the animals fit into it.

Jay · « **Reply #22 on:** February 12, 2006, 04:41:39 AM »

Hahah, nice photoshop. And good call on the "Aristocrats" joke. That's exactly the feel I was going for. Nobody else caught on, though. Maybe if I would have said "Ville strapped on a latex glove and fingered the neighbor's wife to near death like you would any sort of termite or roach" then people would have caught on.

Jay · « **Reply #23 on:** February 12, 2006, 04:46:08 AM »

the phrase "damaged rectum" is still juvenilely funny to me.

ZomB · « **Reply #24 on:** February 12, 2006, 08:06:59 AM »

yeah...i didnt get it, still dont. gimme a break, im a natural blonde!